


Turning my Diary from when I was 14 years old into Cherik Fanfiction

by lucienbonaparte



Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-17 07:48:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4658460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucienbonaparte/pseuds/lucienbonaparte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically, the title states what I am doing. But it's an AU where Cherik happens in high school during the early 2000s. And it's being turned into Erik's diary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. That Charles...

**Author's Note:**

> This is not beautiful literature.

**02-03-02 @ 10:00 PM (14 years old)**

I don’t want to discuss guys right now. Except Charles. I talked to him on the phone today. He…lol…he said he used to be gay! Then, like a year later he decided he was bi. 

(Something about my friend Raven which has been edited out)

Oh….Raven…she tried to run away to Hollywood and she got arrested. Now they're going to take away a lot of her stuff and she’s going to be put through therapy and into a group home and they’re gonna make her go to boot camp when she’s 16. This sucks. She’s getting kicked out of the school too…I’m never gonna see her again….damn….

Things can change so quickly. That’s the main lesson I’ve learned in my life this year….

Back to Charles. I have promised myself: I DO NOT love him more than a friend! Not at all, never. There. That’s what I’ve decided. I don’t want to get all excited and think I’ve met the love of my life….when I haven’t and it will all be ruined. He promised me, though, that he will love me someday….don’t know what that was about…

It’s so funny that, when we talk, I’m not at all nervous. We laugh and make fun of each other….and then we sometimes talk about serious stuff and it’s interesting. We never run out of things to talk about and he’s just really cool. I like him as a friend, no more. I will not ruin the friendship. 

It was so embarrassing…Raven picked up the phone today while i was talkin to him and was like, “Get off the phone!”   
lol

Once again, I’m gonna say this: I do not love Charles and never will unless I’m 100% sure that it IS love.

I’m gonna sleep now. Tomorrow I’m quitting drinking/eating so much caffeine. I’m addicted, seriously. Bye.

PS If you didn’t already figure it out, this is the continuation of my red notebook diary.


	2. Strange Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik tells his diary things...and stuff.

**Wednesday 02-06-02**

Hey! Right now I’m listening to the Deftones as usual…

Raven’s gonna try to run away again…to San Francisco this time…instead of Hollywood. This is gonna be interesting. I wonder if she’ll make it this time. 

This is a strange year. 

I don’t feel like writing now.

**Sunday Feb 9 or 10**

2 days ago what was supposed to be a 10 minute conversation with Charles turned into a 2 hour conversation.


	3. I'm going to die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik is having a crisis.

**Tues Feb-12-02**

Life sucks now. I have never had so many problems piled on top of me at once in my whole entire life. The worst thing is that there is no way to solve any of these problems and God’s helped me so many times with my problems but I think he’s tired of it. But seriously my life is about to completely die in two days. I’m about to die. There’s really nothing I can do but suffer the consequences. But I can’t do that…I don’t want to do that.

I don’t know what I want anymore. My morals have also, for some reason, rapidly declined. If I hadn’t done some of the things I did, I wouldn’t be in this situation. That’s what sucks. It is all my fault. My grades, cutting classes, eating disorder, depression, lying, calling people long distance on Mortimer's cell phone without permission, the 4 guys that like me that I like that I’m not sure which I want to go out with, the people that keep talking to me at school…and everyone is talking to me and bugging me….

(something about Mortimer which has been edited out)

Mortimer, yes, Mortimer the drug dealer. Not that other Mortimer. He wears all black like all the time and even his underwear is black. When he does wear colors, he wears blue or green or orange or whatever. And that’s all. He’s been using a lot of pain killers recently. And he’s been doing like every drug that exists.

(more that’s been edited out)

All the authority figures in my life should be happy that I turned down getting stoned and drunk and watching Evil Dead with Wendy, Edward, and Joanna. For one thing, I don’t smoke pot. For another, whatever.

Charles is having “personal problems”. So he isn’t talking to anyone for a while and he’s writing me a letter and calling me on Saturday at 8:30. I want to know what his problems are…

But seriously…what happened to cause my behavior? Maybe it’s school and how there's so much stress on me to be “perfect”. Maybe if it weren't for that…who knows…but my change in my behavior is so strange.

I’m really praying that nobody else will read this.

Bye.


	4. Sad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings

**2-22-02** (written in alternating red and orange colored pencil)  


I'm so fucking sad I can't even force the tears out of my face.

I think there is an actual hole inside of me. I can feel it.

This is how sad I am.

Goodbye,

Erik.


	5. The End Again

**Saturday March 9**

 

Uhh...Mortimer...don't hang out with him....

I never smoked with him and never will.

Anyway

The best thing happened. Charles loves me...and I love him too! 

And my life is going to end on Monday at around 11:30 AM but it won't officially end until around 3:50 pm. I don't want it to end. God help me.


	6. 3-12-02

Charles is so sweet...I swear he's the best. He's smart and nice and funny...he's just so great.

My life is still coming to an end and I want ANYTHING out there who can help me to help me

Goodbye,

Erik (signed in cursive)


	7. Tuesday April 2nd, 2002

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was going to change all the names to x-men-related names but I'm not doing that anymore. The names I already changed will continue to be the same. I was thinking of making another version after I finish typing up the whole thing...a version with details changed, where everyone has powers, and where everyone's been changed to x-men characters...but maybe not. Depends on how I feel.
> 
> (names are still being changed for the sake of anonymity but to...other names)
> 
> I also think this...doesn't work so much...but I'm persisting in doing it for the sake of having a weirdo version of this old diary that I'm ripping up and throwing away.

O.K...so...my life ended but now it's back up again. My grades came and I was grounded for forever. My parents got rid of some of my stuff and invaded my room. I got mad and sad and they were threatening to do all this stuff and so then I called Charles from a payphone after school and told him I was gonna run away to his family but he told me not to and if I came to his house he would not let me into his house and he make me go back. He told me what to do and that everything would be o.k. and that my parents would lighten up. I'm so glad he didn't let me run away. And he was right. My parents did lighten up. I don't know what I'd do without him.

Yesterday I had to go to the movies with my parents. Dana and Edward were there. They were on a "date" or something. Dana always said she didn't like him and I can't believe she still hangs out with him after he convinced her to smoke pot with him and she had a seizure and ended up in the hospital and they found methamphetamines in her. They also found cuts she gave herself because she's a cutter and they put her in a mental hospital for a night. She cut herself really hard because Dustin told her some shit about how "real cuts" are deeper than how hers used to be. Now she's on all these antidepressants. She needs to stop hanging around those guys.

I'm worried about Raven kind of. She's been doing a lot of drugs and drinking a lot and cutting class everyday. I've been cutting class too but not as much as her. I was the one who got her into cutting class but she's taking it too far.

I went to lunch with this really hot guy named Jack a couple weeks ago. It was weird because he started smoking before we even got out of the school parking lot. And I felt weird because when we got in his car he didn't buckle his seatbelt and I didn't know if I should buckle mine but I didn't. Jack doesn't like me at all. Now he acts totally uninterested...maybe if I wait a couple weeks and then go talk to him again we might have something to talk about or he might be interested again. But I doubt it. 

Oh well...who cares whether he likes me or not. At least I have Charles and Charles is 1000000000 times better than any other guy on earth.

 

Goodbye,

Erik


	8. April 2nd Continued

O.k. It's still April second but I realized that I forgot to write an important event in here:

It was a month or so ago and I was on the phone with Charles and I forgot what we were talking about but I remember that I said "I love you" and he said "I love you too" but it was sooo amazing because I thought I felt something weird in my heart and I told Charles that and he said he might have felt something too and so I decided to say it again and I was like, "I love you" and he said, "I love you too" and it was soooo amazing because that time we both felt it! Whatever that feeling was...it was weird. I don't know what it was. It was kind of like my heart fluttered or something and there was a shock in my brain but it wasn't just a physical weird feeling, there was something emotional there too.

And the whole situation was weird because both me and Charles had been telling ourselves not to love each other and then we both said it at the same time. But is it really love??? Who the hell knows...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "but it wasn't just a physical weird feeling, there was something emotional there too."
> 
> Um...
> 
> This whole entry is hilariously bad.


End file.
